Day 8: Other Mothers clothed but naked

Ann-Marie:

"There has to be another layer to breathe, a place to float away to forget." 

While some readers point to Duncan Miller's infidelity (revealed in Chapter 17 of The Other Mother: a rememoir) as a personal breaking point with his character, I'm standing at that same juncture, less rattled by the symptom of cheating, more frustrated at his inclination to escape as I can only imagine how much Byrne must of needed his support in a great many ways.  A caregiver will exhaust every resource emotionally and physically to offer the best hope they can to their loved one. She offered the best hope to their daughter in an era when mental health was far from understood and at the same time extended a graceful gesture to retain the love of a man she could not live without. I found myself  saying aloud "Wow, iron will" as I turned to the next chapter.

Jennifer Brewer over at Olives and Alzheimers provided a great quote in commenting this week on the blog tour Day 4 that seems to fit in this discussion: "Reinvention is a necessary part of being. It is the result of learning and growing, not a game to change the uniqueness of the person to a societal ideal. The 'ing' is important in the word being, living, growing, learning and reinventing. The 'ing' demonstrates that none of these are static, but always changing." 

Teresa:

Bryne Miller certainly took a creative approach to loving and living with mentally ill family members.  She had to. The first time schizophrenia pounced on her life ~ in the early years of her intense bohemian, artistic marriage ~ she did what women in the 40s were suppose to do. She sought out the best medial opinions and treatment centers for her toddler.  But that was back when the condition was blamed on women.  The doctors even had a term for it: schizophrenogenic mothers.  And they used a primitive form of electric shock therapy to "cure it."

Byrne rarely spoke of times she felt defeated or scared.  But one of them was watching her little Alison's head get prepped for shocking.  And it didn't work.  At least not in the way doctors told her it would.  So she set about re-calibrating Alison's brain herself ~ using whatever new techniques and intuition she could summon.  In the end, Alison led a difficult but mostly independent life.  I think one reason headstrong Bryne could let go was because she became the other mother to so many collected daughters.  We, collectively, fulfilled her dreams ~ following in her footsteps as dancers, writers, teachers, parents, and scholars.  Alison had the freedom to be the best woman she could be.

I don't want to give away a major plot line in "The Other Mother: a rememoir" but schizophrenia struck again in Bryne's life. And the second time, she didn't do what anyone expected. She created an alternative universe to protect those she loved ~ madness simply part of its cosmic makeup. It was beyond kind or compassionate ~ to me it was the greatest act of love. I know it wouldn't work for every family living with mental illness. My beloved uncle's battle with schizophrenia meant life-long medication and periods of institutionalization that have robbed him of a career and family of his own.  But I understand why Bryne fought this intrusion and I feel privileged to have witnessed a grand experiment.  It's how I know that there can be a love so powerful it creates its own truth.

The Other Mother: A Rememoir by Teresa Bruce

Tell us about choices that were hard but created possibility...