Day 10: Every "Other Mother" needs a review

Ann-Marie:

What a journey my friend! 10 days with "The Other Mother" blog tour has opened doorways, shed light on relationships and revealed the souls of the people and places we hold dear.

Much thanks to the other bloggers and contributors who stepped in on their own accord (Jennifer Brewer  over at Olives & Alzheimers and Beth Lathrop at Muse & Profit ). Each of you made the conversation rich with anecdotes from your own lives and your thoughts on the book's characters added to the dialog. Needless to say we believe the journey continues beyond the confines of our ten days together.  It's time to pass the baton on to the eyes of readers, the ears of book clubs, and the keyboards of press beyond our east coast borders. I go back to crafting inspirationals, teaching others to tell their story and a life still unfolding.

So what's next for "The Other Mother: a rememoir"...a sell out of your first run of books, screen play, film....

Teresa:

From your lips to Ang Lee's ears! Unfortunately, most memoirs ~ even best-sellers like "Eat Pray Love" turn into dreadful flops at the box office. So I'm not counting on a movie just yet ~ though if anyone's interested I write screenplays too!

Joggling Board Press is a tiny, dedicated, independent publisher without a big marketing budget, so we cherish the power of social media and word of mouth.  If more and more book clubs follow the lead of the Oyster Cay's Collection "Owls" we'll be thrilled. We even came up with a list of book club questions in the back of the hard cover to facilitate conversations.

What's great about "The Other Mother" is that once people read it they want to get together and talk about it and they want to celebrate the other mothers in their lives.  Three dear friends: Barbara Kelly in Beaufort, Andrea Schenck in Charleston and Audrey Chang in Washington DC have thrown "Other Mother Soirees" to do just that.  Each soiree is entirely different ~ like the women who host them ~ but I read little bit, answer questions and then we all dish about the other mothers we need and cherish. It's a blast and I'd love to do more. I'm also hoping to get on speaker's bureau's ~ turns out my TEDx talk made me realize I like live audiences.

Lets see...what else? Regular followers of my blog know I've been recording the audio version of the book.  My vocal chords are thrilled that we've finished that portion of it, although the producer has just taken a job in Baltimore and it may take a while before he can get all 417 pages of it edited and available online.  But I'll keep you posted on www.teresabrucebooks.wordpress.com.

And early in the new year, Joggling Board Press plans on releasing the Kindle version.  So all of your kind reviews on Amazon and Good Reads will help launch the e:book as well.  It's all about the conversation as Ann-Marie coaches us social-media newbies ~ and this blog tour was an amazing start!

The Other Mother: A Rememoir by Teresa Bruce 

It's your turn readers to plan your own "Other Mother Soiree!"
Thank you for supporting a local author from Beaufort, SC!

Day 8: Other Mothers clothed but naked

Ann-Marie:

"There has to be another layer to breathe, a place to float away to forget." 

While some readers point to Duncan Miller's infidelity (revealed in Chapter 17 of The Other Mother: a rememoir) as a personal breaking point with his character, I'm standing at that same juncture, less rattled by the symptom of cheating, more frustrated at his inclination to escape as I can only imagine how much Byrne must of needed his support in a great many ways.  A caregiver will exhaust every resource emotionally and physically to offer the best hope they can to their loved one. She offered the best hope to their daughter in an era when mental health was far from understood and at the same time extended a graceful gesture to retain the love of a man she could not live without. I found myself  saying aloud "Wow, iron will" as I turned to the next chapter.

Jennifer Brewer over at Olives and Alzheimers provided a great quote in commenting this week on the blog tour Day 4 that seems to fit in this discussion: "Reinvention is a necessary part of being. It is the result of learning and growing, not a game to change the uniqueness of the person to a societal ideal. The 'ing' is important in the word being, living, growing, learning and reinventing. The 'ing' demonstrates that none of these are static, but always changing." 

Teresa:

Bryne Miller certainly took a creative approach to loving and living with mentally ill family members.  She had to. The first time schizophrenia pounced on her life ~ in the early years of her intense bohemian, artistic marriage ~ she did what women in the 40s were suppose to do. She sought out the best medial opinions and treatment centers for her toddler.  But that was back when the condition was blamed on women.  The doctors even had a term for it: schizophrenogenic mothers.  And they used a primitive form of electric shock therapy to "cure it."

Byrne rarely spoke of times she felt defeated or scared.  But one of them was watching her little Alison's head get prepped for shocking.  And it didn't work.  At least not in the way doctors told her it would.  So she set about re-calibrating Alison's brain herself ~ using whatever new techniques and intuition she could summon.  In the end, Alison led a difficult but mostly independent life.  I think one reason headstrong Bryne could let go was because she became the other mother to so many collected daughters.  We, collectively, fulfilled her dreams ~ following in her footsteps as dancers, writers, teachers, parents, and scholars.  Alison had the freedom to be the best woman she could be.

I don't want to give away a major plot line in "The Other Mother: a rememoir" but schizophrenia struck again in Bryne's life. And the second time, she didn't do what anyone expected. She created an alternative universe to protect those she loved ~ madness simply part of its cosmic makeup. It was beyond kind or compassionate ~ to me it was the greatest act of love. I know it wouldn't work for every family living with mental illness. My beloved uncle's battle with schizophrenia meant life-long medication and periods of institutionalization that have robbed him of a career and family of his own.  But I understand why Bryne fought this intrusion and I feel privileged to have witnessed a grand experiment.  It's how I know that there can be a love so powerful it creates its own truth.

The Other Mother: A Rememoir by Teresa Bruce

Tell us about choices that were hard but created possibility...

Day 2: Writing about "The Other Mother"

Ann-Marie:

I have many favorite quotes from your book, but this morning (Cyber Monday no less) the powerful nature of what surrounds us in the Lowcountry, that which exists right in front of us and brings forward our creativity...that is where my mind waunders this morning. The phrase or perhaps best described by you as "...the logic of the hopeful, the rationale of a dreamer" says it best for me today and comes from Chapter 5 via your surfer/common law husband..."the perfection of a day judged by a dolphin." Hindsight or foresight this applies perfectly to our life along the coastline of South Carolina.

One always wonders why someone writes what they write. I write a great deal for work, but I also write inspirational phrases called "word strings" and spend time in a classroom encouraging others to craft content to tell their stories.  You write screenplays and books.  What led to writing about Bryne? Perhaps you always have, even if not directly.

Teresa:

Wow, I wonder if you're onto something. Maybe Byrne's voice has been in my head longer than I realize. Come to think of it, that's how "The Other Mother: a rememoir" started. Long before I knew that I wanted to write a book about my other mother, she was part of my interior dialog. I remember looking into the mirror on the day I went to my divorce hearing, repeating her words in my head. "You are marvelous," and "Do not affect to be so delicate."

The first part was from Duncan ~ her husband of almost 60 years who said that to Byrne every night when he watched her undress. She knew that even though there might be women more witty, sexy or well connected ~ she was the unique combination of attributes he could never live without.

The second part of what I whispered to myself that morning was Bryne's favorite quote. It's from Nietzche and it means that we are all stronger than we think we are or pretend to be. 

Maybe as I walked into the courtroom -- Bryne's words affirmations of confidence -- I started writing my own story. I was collecting and rearranging the words that helped me become the woman I am.  And she is an always-present part of that. I think all mothers and other mothers are: the former are literally part of our DNA and the later of our free will.

Writing screenplays was a huge help in making Byrne come alive on the page because it had forced me to hone my sense of dialog. I write by visualizing scenes ~ what she's wearing, how she's standing, how others are responding to her body language. And you're right Ann-Marie, writing about Byrne has kept her close to my heart. Photographs can fade, but the truth I commit to the page stays firmly in place. Bryne Miller is now a dance I know by muscle memory.

The Other Mother: A Rememoir by Teresa Bruce

Tell us about a word or phrase that someone used that you continue to evoke...