A matter of conversation

How do we manage in times when conversations are tough? I'm thinking along  the lines of communication that does not transpire because a person (or people) meaningful to you has passed away, a connection was lost by time and/or distance, a bridge no longer exists between differences of opinion, a little regret built an insurmountable wall preventing possibility to flourish or a demand stands in the way of real understanding.

I was blessed with a mother and sister that thrived on delivering encouragement and love, not just during the holidays but even on the odd days. Their deaths left a huge void in my immediate environment in terms of a real time experience (note, I do believe our loved ones that have passed away cheer us on from some kinder place). Over time, I have collected close friends that recognize this gap in my daily experience who constantly deliver profound motivation unconditionally. I've become acquainted with individuals that add to the quality of my life experience.  I discovered a father who moved beyond his own grief and fundamentalism to reach out to me in a way that allowed a fuller relationship that also included humor and recognizable milestones.

A kind word is never untimely no matter how it gets delivered.

We age and grow away from where we once stood. That's inevitable as humans. While some may critique the over-share environment of social media networks I say look past the infatuation of some and get to the heart of others and experience the opportunity these outlets provide. While one may never regain what once existed with places and individuals in our past, sometimes through these networks a whole host of people find they made and continue to make a difference in the unfolding of our lives.

See the value in even the smallest of gestures.

The point at which politics, gender identity and religion separate us should be the juncture where we marshall acceptance. That what we do, how we do it and where it plays out is exactly the place where peace exists. Granted value systems vary greatly and some are pretty hard to manage from an individual frame of reference, but I for one relish the part that diversity offers in capturing understanding.

Make love not war.

What did not happen at a certain point in time does not make it the end of the world nor is it removed from possibility. We can't let our age, children (or lack of children), or money determine our possibilities to engage in life. Certainly our physical bodies have shortcomings, but age truly is a state of mind and living younger in an age frame that keeps extending itself makes that more true than false. Children, well there's no greater way to make a difference in tomorrow than spending time with a child today (yours or someone else's). Mentors, tutors, foster parents, neighbors, friends and/or teachers all build characters that will carry the future. Memory is a powerful gift to give someone at any age under a whole host of circumstances. And face it, there's never enough money even when there's plenty. The years following the fall out of the U.S. economy have been difficult for many and no one is walking through it without reservations, without struggling, without pain (well a small 1% but this post is about those of us staying afloat as best we can).  

Grow beyond the limitations and grasp the opportunities that speak to your best effort.

Anyone who uses ridicule or places demands of obedience and submission as the means to frame love or acceptance is not really offering anything of the sort. And yet with good will and determination we can find a way to engage these individuals with a great deal of compassion. In truth, I found author William Paul Young. If you are inclined, check out Mr. Young's FaceBook page where he daily inserts a phrase with a pretext of "Words you will never hear God say...."  For example, Words you will never hear God say, "I want you to be someone else." ~ Words you will never hear God say, "It all comes down to rewards and punishment." ~  Words you will never hear God say, "Belief is only about the head."  Insert Allah, Yahweh, Universe or whomever/whatever gives you the leverage to rise above is my best advice. So the next time that naysayer in your life starts rattling off dark dogma simply say to yourself  "Words you will never hear [God] say..." and if necessary say it out loud.

Compassion sometimes requires that we think creatively.


Life is a matter of conversation...today, tomorrow and even down the road.