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Monday, December 2, 2013

Day 2: Writing about "The Other Mother"

Ann-Marie:

I have many favorite quotes from your book, but this morning (Cyber Monday no less) the powerful nature of what surrounds us in the Lowcountry, that which exists right in front of us and brings forward our creativity...that is where my mind waunders this morning. The phrase or perhaps best described by you as "...the logic of the hopeful, the rationale of a dreamer" says it best for me today and comes from Chapter 5 via your surfer/common law husband..."the perfection of a day judged by a dolphin." Hindsight or foresight this applies perfectly to our life along the coastline of South Carolina.

One always wonders why someone writes what they write. I write a great deal for work, but I also write inspirational phrases called "word strings" and spend time in a classroom encouraging others to craft content to tell their stories.  You write screenplays and books.  What led to writing about Bryne? Perhaps you always have, even if not directly.

Teresa:

Wow, I wonder if you're onto something. Maybe Byrne's voice has been in my head longer than I realize. Come to think of it, that's how "The Other Mother: a rememoir" started. Long before I knew that I wanted to write a book about my other mother, she was part of my interior dialog. I remember looking into the mirror on the day I went to my divorce hearing, repeating her words in my head. "You are marvelous," and "Do not affect to be so delicate."

The first part was from Duncan ~ her husband of almost 60 years who said that to Byrne every night when he watched her undress. She knew that even though there might be women more witty, sexy or well connected ~ she was the unique combination of attributes he could never live without.

The second part of what I whispered to myself that morning was Bryne's favorite quote. It's from Nietzche and it means that we are all stronger than we think we are or pretend to be. 

Maybe as I walked into the courtroom -- Bryne's words affirmations of confidence -- I started writing my own story. I was collecting and rearranging the words that helped me become the woman I am.  And she is an always-present part of that. I think all mothers and other mothers are: the former are literally part of our DNA and the later of our free will.

Writing screenplays was a huge help in making Byrne come alive on the page because it had forced me to hone my sense of dialog. I write by visualizing scenes ~ what she's wearing, how she's standing, how others are responding to her body language. And you're right Ann-Marie, writing about Byrne has kept her close to my heart. Photographs can fade, but the truth I commit to the page stays firmly in place. Bryne Miller is now a dance I know by muscle memory.



Tell us about a word or phrase that someone used that you continue to evoke...


5 comments:

  1. My grandmother didn't invent the phrase, "and this too shall pass," but I heard it from her as long as I can remember. She is no longer living, but I find I hear her voice repeating this to me when I need to hear it said.

    The phrase isn't only for when unfortunate events take place, but also joyful. Savor the good and let go of the bad for both shall pass.

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    1. Thanks for the comment Jennifer -- it sounds like your grandmother would have loved one of Byrne Miller's other "womenisms" which was "When what is painful can't be fixed, close the door behind you and walk into another room. The brain has more chambers than the heart.

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  2. A great share Jennifer, I definitely see the repetitive use of the term voice in your statement and Teresa's answer to my question on writing about Byrne Miller

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  3. One of my Other Mothers - I called her Queen Bee - peppered me with phrases I absorbed into my consciousness... One that comes to mind is, "God loves a smart ass." It keeps me grounded in the knowledge that I am how/who I am for a reason - and that's just fine with the Universe.

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Life Enrichment is like a travel and learn program...offering infusions that make every day life thereafter far more interesting! ~ Ann-Marie Adams, Reflections on a Meaningful Life